Baby un-fever?

It's almost been a year since Serenity was conceived, and this whole journey began. I've been a little beside myself with emotions lately. 

I have baby fever again, but not really. I just have my baby fever. I just want my Serenity back. I want to feel whole again. 

I just really can't gather my thoughts without tears flowing to the point I can't see to type and have to pause and lose my train of thought. 

I think the worst part of this whole thing is the unknown. The should have beens. Would have beens. All the questions I yearn to have answers for. 

The look on people's faces when you know they want to say something but not the wrong thing. When they don't know what to say at all. The pity that washes over them. 

Blah. 

I hope my hormones level themselves out here soon.