Recently, Anna belle made the comment someone told her that her sister is dead.
And that she's no longer her sister anymore because she's dead.
I hate that word more than I hate *shivers* stillbirth. (Can't believe I typed it).
Anna belle doesn't understand such a concept. In her innocent mind, her sister is an angel in heaven. Regardless of what that actually means Anna belle still constantly talks about her sister and how much she loves and misses her.
And in her mind that's all the explanation she needs. As she grows older, she'll understand this painful concept more on depth, but for someone to explain to her the finality, emptiness, and emotionless reality of death as her no longer having a sister in that sense in completely appalling.
Surely, when you lose your mother or father, you are in fact still a son or daughter. Likewise with any other family member. Just because Anna belle never got to be the textbook definition of a sister, she still is. She kissed my belly, sang to it, talked to it, hugged it, loved it, anticipated her arrival. I truly believe there was no living soul more excited for Serenity's life than her sister.
And it pains me beyond words that she ever got to experience her in the way you and I experience siblings. As much as my sister and I butt heads. I couldn't imagine life without her. Even not talking, not seeing each other, the fact that we are siblings will never change. Even after death and beyond.
My only wish as a mother was to protect both my daughters from the evils of this world. And while one is living the life in the clouds, the other is experiencing the worst possible evil there is, being robbed of sisterhood.
I can never thank everyone enough for their continual prayers for us. It helps more than you or I may realize. And I hope I never let either one of my girls down as their mother.
I promise to always give Anna belle the life she deserves as we'll as Serenity's memory the life it deserves.
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