Humility.

A lesson I've learned the past 99 days. 

Humilty. 

I've been knocked to my knees, broken, and left to deal. 

Constantly wondering, questioning, seeking. 

And it's children who get it without even getting it. 

When Serenity first passed away, I dreaded to tell her. But I knew I had to. I couldn't rob her even more. 

And she understood instantly. Her sissy is an angel in heaven. And that was that 

Today at Izzy's funeral her big brother wanted to know why he couldn't go see his sister and I told him, well she's an angel in heaven. And he said no she's over there in the box. Where I got this next line I'll never know, maybe god himself gave me the words. But I said well she's not really in the box, that's just an elevator to heaven. But if he ever wanted to talk to her or just missed her to put his hand on his heart and he could talk out loud or in his head and every time his heartbeat that was her talking back. And it's amazing how something so simple appeased him. 

And then afterwards in the car on the way home, a little girl named bri told me. I'm really sorry your baby died like Izzy. And I said well me too but now they're best friends and get to play together all the time. And I bet they even have pink and purple wings. She seemed excited about that and then said I hope my aunt Leslie's baby doesn't die I really want my baby cousin. And I told her that she didn't have to worry because izzy and Serenity wouldn't let that happen. And I told her how she could talk to them in heaven the same way I explained to Anna belle and Landon. And she got extra excited. She asked if she could talk to her grandpa too and I assured her if she knew anyone in heaven she could talk to them that way. And she just sat there the rest of the car ride holding her heart smiling. 

Why can't I find peace like these innocent children? 

I can't find comfort in my own words. 

I am humbled beyond belief to see these children understand such unbearable heartache. I hurt that they know such evils at such a young age, but find comfort in the tinest of hopes. 

I pray I learn this myself. 

I hope you rest in sweet peace Izzy Mae, I know my Serenity will take good care of you. And I do find joy in that thought.